An Uncanny Relationship
by Era Yachi
Summary: This is a clean humor fic about Amarant and Lani. It's edited now! Anyway, Lani torments him over a whole series of events...Yes, this will become a pairing, eventually.
1. The Short Chapter

  


An Uncanny Relationship

  


_By: Laura Ulian_

  
  


_Disclaimer: No, no, I don't own the Final Fantasy IX characters. It ALL belongs to Square, the greedy pigs (j/k!)_

  


Um...hello! I REALLY edited these first four chapters...REALLY well. So c'mon, read 'em again! They're kind of funnier...considering I had the sense of humor of a coffee bean two years ago. Weeee!

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


The water was laughing at him.

  


Actually, no, it wasn't. Lani was, in fact, acting as if the world's greatest punch line had been revealed. The source of her uncharacteristic behaviour? Amarant's notice of invitation, clutched and half-ripped in her clenched fist. Many giggling fits, tears of amusement and well-placed bursts of 'whoo's and 'oh man's, there was finally enough of a silent lapse for the bounty hunter to speak.

  


"Thank you for finding that funny,"growled Amarant. 

  


"I-I'm-."the bounty huntress began, straightening herself so that she could look at him again. "I'm...I'm sorry,"she apologized, nearly bursting into another fit of giggles. "But-that, that coming from you, it's not right! It'so...so-"

  


"Funny,"he concluded.

  


"Right!"piped Lani, stifling her urge to laugh again by clearing her throat.. "I mean...you're really not going to go, right? Seriously!"

  


"How trying," muttered Amarant, standing on his feet. "I'm leaving Treno. You got a problem with that, you can deal with it."

  


Suddenly, Lani's eyes lit up with realization, "You _meant_ it? You seriously want to go back to Alexandria, just because you got a crappy little letter from someone who hasn't talked to you in six years!"

  


Amarant turned slowly to face her. He had to force himself to hide his smirk, "It's an invitation. To-"

  


"-Zidane's birthday,"the bounty huntress concluded, not seeming to care herself if she smirked. "You're serious. You, biggy wiggy little ol' Ammy-poo going to his little wittle birthday pawty!" She snorted. "How old are you, now? Thirty-seven? Thirty-eight?"

  


"Thirty-two,"said Amarant, turning his back on her again.

  


"Ooooh, he admits it!"the bounty huntress cried, leaping to her own feet.

  


"I take it I'll be leaving you behind," she said shortly.

  


Lani snorted, "Like you did at Madain Sari? As if!"

  


"I didn't abandon you."

  


Lani scowled, "You screwed up our plan! How does that count as NOT leaving me behind?"

  


"Easily."

  


Now the bounty huntress faced Amarant's retreating back. Deepening her scowl, she charged after him and took up her pace beside him, "Fine. Someone has to change your diapers, after all."

  


Amarant chose to ignore her last comment. They crossed into the front of town, where the gates stood. Just as Amarant began to advance through them, Lani seized his shoulder and pulled him back. She ignored his sneer about his personal space being invaded.

  


"Wait,"said the bounty huntress. "We're going to walk all the way to Alexandria? Are you _insane_?"

  


Amarant put his large hands on his hips, and stared at the ground for a second, pouring every ounce of strength he had to not strangle her. After a brief moment of silence, he broke it.

  


"It's the sensible thing to do. I'm in no hurry."

  


Lani saw his obvious annoyance, and decided to keep things peaceful for a least a little longer, "Well,"she said, half-heartedly, but mockingly. "We _could _walk there. We _could _miss the party. And hey! When we get there, we can turn around and walk all the way back!"

  


Amarant lifted a hand to scratch the back of his neck and sighed, "Good point."

  


Lani grinned, "Don't worry, Red. I have an idea."

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


"No."

  


Approximately five minutes later, Amarant stood, staring at the giant gargant eating it's grass, clinging to the giant vine. The giant Amarant looked at the not-so-giant Lani, and shook his head. He leaned against the wall opposite the large insect, eying his 'partner' with deadly force.

  


"Forget about it. I don't want to be there that quick,"he said, crossing his arms.

  


"Grrrr-"Lani growled through gritted teeth.

  


Another thirty seconds later, Amarant found himself sitting in the basket handing from the gargant's back. The wall flew past him, and the basket rocket slightly. He had also acquired an accountable, gil-sized goos egg on the back of his head. At this moment, as he had done so many times before, he wished he had the nerve to fight against her.

  


_So ridiculous._

  


-------------------------------  
  
Ah...now to relax. So fun, so...fun. And boring. But this, as it appears to myself, is going to turn out to be a promising little fanfiction. Lani is so cool, huh? Even Amarant is powerless to her will, lol. Floo...

  


Of course this is short. I couldn't think of anything to add when I edited it...so you'll have to wait until chapter 5 before they get much longer. Eep.


	2. Lani? Afraid of heights?

Disclaimer: how may times am I gonna have to write this? I don't own FFIX! End of story!

  


(Did your mother ever tell you that the boy who picks on you at school is really the one that has a crush on you? Well, this is sort of the case, but it's a little more dangerous than that. ^_^)

  


***************************

  


"Amarant? AMARANT!"

  


The bounty hunter woke with a start, feeling a sharp pain on his cheek. Almost immediately, he was fully awake, and--

  


Looking into Lani's irritated face.

  


Damn.

  


He'd fallen asleep again, in the gargant's basket. Just as a second thought, Amarant reminded himself to drink more coffee and less booze before long trips. Smirking to hide his embarrassment, he scratched the back of his neck and stood up, "Dammit, Lani. Don't slap me."

  


The bounty huntress snickered and put her hands on her hips, "Yeah, I know. It's like provoking an enraged bull. A very ugly one."

  


Amarant couldn't help it. _That sure as hell isn't what you said that night in Treno._ He grinned inwardly as he formulated a good insult he could use against her...later. Maybe.

  


"Hello?" Lani demanded, waving a hand in front of his face. "Amarant! Wake up. We've reached Alexandria."

  


The bounty hunter brushed her hand away, half-sneering, "I've noticed."

  


Growling to herself, the bounty huntress leapt to her feet and then onto the platform of Gargant Roo. She had to literally race to catch up with Amarant's retreating form. She jogged along side him, and then stepped out in front.

  


Amarant stopped short, and glared down at her.

  


"OK," said Lani, taking a small breath. "I just had a newsflash. The last time I saw any of these people was when I tried to kill them all. What are the odds that they'll welcome me into their little party with open arms?"

  


For once, Amarant grinned inwardly, "Don't worry," he joked and crossed his arms. "I'll protect you from the big bad monkey."

  


"Oooh!" Lani hissed, "That is SO unlike you! Amarant, you're scaring me."

  


Amarant blinked, and began to walk again. "No half as much as you're scaring me."

  


***************************

  


"This is crazy – he won't come."

  


Queen Dagger glared hostily at the genome, Zidane Tribal. Her gaze was cold enough to match the Ice Cavern. Slowly, she stood up from counting the dinner plates lining the royal table. She folded her arms defiantly and bored a hole through a head with her eyes.

  


"Um-" Zidane took a step back, immediately feeling sorry for even saying it. "Or...maybe he will. But, I mean, he hates me and all, and he might be, you know angry that I invited him this year, you know...after ignoring him for all that time..."

  


"Zidane," Dagger said through gritted teeth, "You're the King of Alexandria. Zidane Tribal the I, and one day, you're going to look down at a little replica of yourself, and say 'Zidane Arc Tribal II, you have a great mother, because she managed to keep all of her friends while I acted like a loner. Never look to me for advice. I'm only a-'"

  


"All right!" pleaded Zidane. "I get the point! Geez..."

  


Dagger lowered her eyes to count the plates again.

  


"Hey, Dagger..."

  


The queen looked up again, "Hmmm?"

  


"You were serious about my little replica?"

  


The guards standing at the dining hall's entrance exchanged looks, as the room they watched echoes with the skeptical sounds of a genome being cuffed.

  


************************

  


"'Hello...I know we met on the wrong terms last time...' No, that's stupid. 'H-Hey, before we start...can't we be...friends?' Uh...too desperate...'Hi?' Too short..."

  


Amarant ignored her for the last time, as they continued to climb the spiraling staircase. Just as the two reached the top, Lani stopped short in surpirse.

  


"We have to jump that?" she asked dubiously, pointing to the shifting stretch of concrete, continually moving to create a bridge...or not creating a bridge.

  


"You're a bounty hunter, Lani. There are greater obstacles out there," the red-haired man drawled, and without warning, stepped onto one side of the bridge, just as it flew past. After it had rotated around, he stepped off again. He turned to face the hesitating Lani, and lifted his arms slightly in irrelevance. "See? No jumping required, you sad, lazy woman."

  


"Oh, shut up," she hissed, and stepped daintily onto the moving platform. Amarant watched with smug satisfaction as she struggled to keep her balance, as it rotated around. Just as she reach him, she almost fell over the side. But he, of course, without thinking, grabbed her by the shoulders and swung her around in front of him. He gave her a shove towards the door.

  


"Now march."

  


Lani turned around to gape at him, but Amarant gave her another gentle push. "Move it, the party starts soon."

  


"Oh," the bounty huntress said with disbelief, and planted herself firmly in front of him. "As if you care."

  


"If I say I care, I care," the bounty hunter sighed. "Get a move on!"

  


Lani backed away to avoid another shove, but slowly, a grin crossed her face. "Ooooh! Amarant, you saved you life!" she teased.

  


"For all that's-" the red-haired man began, and covered his eye, expressing his dead disapproval.

  


"Hehehe," the bounty huntress giggled, and turned herself around, pretending to walk like a prissy noblewoman. "Help me Amarant, please! Oh, I think I stubbed my toesies! Kiss it better Ammy-poo! Pwease? Oh, I'm a damsel in distress!"

  


Amarant gritted his teeth, "I'll give you something to be distressed about, damsel, if you don't go, or get out of my way."

  


"Hey!"

  


Lani's cry of protest rang throughout the tower, as the tall red-haired man slung her over his shoulder, and proceeded through the doorway. The ominous sound of rock shifting against rock echoed, and then stopped.

  


Everything went silent.

  


***************************

  


(Yeah, so it's short. Sue me. ^_^ Anyway, I wanna keep this up, so please, peeps, review!)


	3. We have to WHAT?

Disclaimer: Nothing is actaully something, did you know that? Though, it has to be classified as nothing, because it's called nothing, and it is literally nothing. But then again, it's something, because if it were nothing, then it wouldn't exist at all. Nothing is still nothing, because it's not there, but it is still considered something. Everything is nothing but something, unless anything that becomes something is nothing. Something is anything, and anything can be a something, but something cannot be nothing unless it's anything.  
  
My point?  
  
I own *nothing* but these fanfics. That's what they are. They aren't *anything* but fanfics. I do not own FFIX. Squaresoft does.  
  
(Hehe, I'm such an Amarant/Lani freak, jsut like Orenery-Chan told me. Thanks Ornery-Chan! At first, I thought it'd be just you reviewing my fanfic! But no, fortunately, others came. Still, I'm glad you like it that much! ^_^ ANyway, just cause I like Amarant/Lani pairings doesn't mean I don't like Zidane/Dagger too, hehe. Right? Am I right?)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Zidane, you're trying my patience."  
  
Dagger straightened her back and glared uneasily at the irritating genome. Zidane took a wary step backwards, and raised his hands in front of him, as if he were fending off an attack.   
  
"Whoa, sorry," he said and slowly lowered his arms. "I guess I was stretching my special birthday-boy privledges."  
  
Maybe he shouldn't have snuck up on her like that. Not that he'd startled her. It was actually the opposite.  
  
"Maybe you should go and see who's all here," suggested the queen, kneeling down again to examine a flower arrangement. Once again, she was purposely ignoring Zidane. For some reason, his birthday seemed to make him think he was more important than anything else. Either that, or he was just trying to impress her again. In which, he was definitely not doing.  
  
They'd only been officially married for three weeks. Dagger had to admit: It had been her happiest day of her life, besides that one day when Zidane returned. The queen smiled softly to herself, thinking about it. How she'd flown into his arms, crying all the while. How she'd. . .  
  
"That's Steiner's job," said Zidane, jolting her form her thoughts. "Besides, I want to spend my time here, with you."  
  
To Dagger's surprise, Zidane's voice wasn't drenched in his usual sarcasm. He'd meant it? He really wanted to be here with her?  
  
Her glassy stare appeared to give away her thoughts, for Zidane grinned and said, "Oh, come on. If I didn't want to spend my time at your side, would I have married you and become king?"  
  
Dagger thought about it. Certainly, Zidane hadn't seemed exactly thrilled at the idea, the warm, summer night he'd proposed to her. He didn't like being a king, she knew, but she supposed he was doing it because he really did want to be there. She knew that, but it had seemed so unreal at first.  
  
"Zidane. . ." she said softly, and suddenly embraced him with an unexpected tenderness that obviously shocked him. "That's so. . .thoughtful of you."  
  
The newly-dubbed king smiled lop-sidely, and returned her hug, "Wow," he said. "I should work this charm more often."  
  
Suddenly, Dagger gave him a playful shove, and broke their embrace, "You're never going to change, are you? Go help Steiner, please."  
  
"I don't care if he calls me 'sire'," grumbled Zidane. "I know he still doesn't like me."  
  
"Please," pressed the queen, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Right," he said, and shrugged. Then he turned and began to walk away.  
  
"Oh, Zidane!"  
  
"Hmmm?" Zidane turned around and looked at her questioningly.  
  
"About Amarant," said Dagger, brushing her hair behind her shoulders. "If he's coming at all, then he should be coming on the gargant, right?"  
  
Zidane scratched the back of his neck thoughtfully, "He doesn't really like those things."  
  
Dagger gave him a unsure glance and pressed her lips together to keep herself from grinning, "No, but he's probably with Lani, Zidane."  
  
The genome shrugged, "Good point."  
  
"Well," said the queen. "If Amarant does come that way, then he'll be arriving inside the castle via my mother's old room. Maybe you should go there and greet h- them."  
  
"Right," the king said again, and crossed his arms. "He'll really appreciate that."  
  
"Just go. Please!"  
  
  
  
"All right, all right," said Zidane, lifting his hands into the air in defeat. "Geez, you're the only one in this whole kingdom that can boss me around. Might as well make myself useful."  
  
He heard her snicker as he left the dining hall. She was so....unpredictable when it came to formal matters like these. It was almost as if his birthday was more important than even himself. Maybe she was just getting caught up in the spirit of the event. Personally, he thought a festival, a grand ball, and even a production performed by his old larcenist group, Tantalus, was a bit much for a birthday party. Especially Tantalus's presentation.  
  
It was a play called, "The King of Thieves".  
  
He didn't find it very funny. It wasn't as if they entire kingdom of Alexandria already didn't know what he'd been at one time. Their own king, a thief with many crimes, including kidnapping their princess. Then again, he supposed marrying their new queen gained enough respect, at the least.  
  
Zidane brushed his jacket off carelessly, not daring to let the dust collect on it too much. The last thing he needed was Dagger nagging at him about how unclean he was. Zidane hated his new outfit. It was gray, and formal, and very old-fashioned.  
  
He sighed. But it was what a king wore.  
  
The genome suddenly found himself facing the grand doors to the Queen Brahne's bedroom, in which had been turned into a nice guest room just recently. Grasping the handle with a nervous grip, Zidane turned it and pulled the heavy door open. He entered the formerly royal chamber.  
  
It hadn't changed much. It was still the same room, only with a single bed in place of the vermilion couch. The candle on the far wall (an actual switch that opened a secret passage through the empty fireplace) burned with a dull glow, it's magically-lit flame never dying to anything lower than a glimmer. Zidane was about to cross the room to activate the 'candle' switch, when he realized that the passage was already open.   
  
Suddenly, before he could react, he heard the sound of soft footfalls -- just one pair of feet, her noted -- from inside of the passageway's steps. Zidane automatically realized that one set of feet wasn't the quota he was looking for. There was Amarant, and Lani that was expected to arrive, no one else. If they didn't arrive together, he figured that neither would arrive at all. The king drew his blades from beneath his vest and crouched into an attack position.  
  
It was then he both heard and saw the mass of flaming red hair emerge from the stone stairway. Amarant Coral lifted his head to catch Zidane's wary gaze with a note of amusement in his eyes. Lani was slung over his shoulder, almost disregardingly, and she was clearly struggling to break his grip. Amarant stopped, and then suddenly seemed to remember what he was carrying.  
  
Zidane slowly lowered his blade from it's attack position, and scratched the back of his neck, curiously, "Um, am I interrupting something?"  
  
Amarant merely smirked and abruptly dumped the squirming bounty huntress off of his shoulder, "Nothing's going on," he muttered. "She was in my way."  
  
Zidane grinned inwardly, though he dared not do so outside, "Right. Um, hey."  
  
Lani slowly picked herself up off the floor, and rubbed her back where she had landed roughly on the marble floor. Barely able to contain her annoyance, she half-hissed through gritted teeth, "Hello, Zidane."  
  
"So, your royal higness," the red-haired bounty hunter quipped, crossing his arms. He eyed the king distastfully. "So much for my rematch."  
  
It sort of surprised Zidane, when Lani shoved Amarant shoulder, grimacing at his sourness. And what was strange, was that Amarant said absolutely nothing after that. Wheras he would have broken the neck of the first person to push him around, six years ago, he took absolutely no mind to the bounty huntress's rudeness.  
  
"He's right," agreed Zidane, shrugging. "Either I resign, or go on vacation, or my fighting days are over. Unless, of course, our little rematch that you oh-so-desire becomes a formal quarrel with fencing swords."  
  
Amarant stared cooly, and didn't reply.  
  
"I didn't think so," concluded the genome. "So that's it? Right to the point, I see. Not one 'hello', or 'how've you been over the past half a decade'. . .Just, 'Where's my rematch'?"  
  
"I don't stress so much on those immediate topics," said Amarant, as if that explained everything.   
  
"And if I were you, I wouldn't force him to," said the bounty huntress. Slowly, her eyes circled the room. "This is the most disgusting place I've ever seen. I've only been inside of the castle once. I don't remember seeing this place."  
  
"No," said Zidane. "It's was the queen's personal bed chamber before."  
  
"Oh," said Lani. "And how are things? Anything get blown up since I was here last?"  
  
At first, Zidane's glare was inquisitive. Then the look turned to disbelief as he rounded on Amarant, "Geez, Amarant. Six years, of living at Madain Sari. Six years of partnership, and you couldn't find the time to tell her what happened?"  
  
The bounty hunter shrugged, and leaned agains the nearest wall, "Didn't think it was important."  
Lani looked from Zidane, to Amarant. "What?"  
  
"It's a long story, involving an Eidolon," said Zidane, shaking his head. "But the towns in ruins. Long story, I'll probably have to tell you later. Or just have your new Prince Charming tell you all about it."  
  
Amarant found the nerve to lift his gaze at the genome, "Not funny."  
  
"I was just kidding. Well, it's nice to see you. . .I think. It has been six years, after all. I'm turning twenty-two. I feel so old already. But I guess I shouldn't rub it in, huh? You're around the age that Steiner was when the whole Kuja incident started, Amarant," said the genome.  
  
"Don't go assuming that makes me any less capable of pulverising you in our rematch," replied Amarant. "When the day comes."  
  
"Of course," agreed Zidane, almost a little too readily. "When the time comes. Man, I can tell you haven't changed that much over the course of six years, Amarant."  
  
"Besides his new tolerance to annoyances like me?" said Lani, half-grinning. "I would say I have to agree."  
  
".......How many others are here?" inquired the bounty hunter, ignoring Lani altogether.  
  
Zidane thought for a moment, "Well, there's Dagger and myself. Steiner's here, Freya's on her way. . .Vivi's coming too, with all six of his sons. . .Eiko and Quina are already here. I don't know where Eiko is, but Quina's in the kitchen, as always."  
  
"....That brat'd better have a maturity level higher than her age for once," said Amarant, stiffly. "Twelve years old sounds like a compromisable age."  
  
Zidane snorted his sudden laughter, "Sorry, Amarant. I wouldn't count on it."  
  
"Eiko? Isn't she-" the bounty huntess began, and cut herself short. "Never mind. I won't ask."  
  
Zidane grinned, "Right, Lani, I wouldn't spend too much time around her. I don't think she forgets what that 'old hag' did all those years ago."  
  
"But-" said Lani. "It was so long ago, and I've apologized since then!"  
  
The genome shrugged. "Not to her."  
  
  
  
"If you're quite done the more pointless part of this conversation," said Amarant, breaking the sudden silence. "Maybe we can actually go somewhere else in this castle besides this room, to take care of this. . prominent matter."  
  
"Well," said Zidane, shrugging once again. "The festival begins in the morning, the ball is tonight, and the play performance is going to happen just before dinner and dancing. So formal, it almost makes he sick, but it's the way Dagger wanted it."  
  
".....A ball?" inquired the red-haired man, and he uncrossed his arms. "Dancing? You're crazy."  
  
"Hmm," thought Lani, outloud. "That actually sounds like fun. I'll be doing some fancy footwork without a giant axe slung over my shoulder for once. I'm just worried that I'll be forced to wear a dress, or something like that."  
  
Amarant snorted, "You're going?"  
  
The bounty huntress smirked, and this time, she was the one to cross her arms. "Of course I am. And so are you."  
  
Suddenly, Zidane took a step backwards, studying them both with wide eyes. "I'm not saying that he has to or anything, but Amarant wearing something formal isn't exactly the likeliest thing to happen."  
  
"Wait-"  
  
"He doesn't have to wear something formal," said Lani, cutting Amarant off. "Just so long as he goes."  
  
"Lani-"  
  
"And-" the bounty huntress continued. "-he can go to the play, too. It would be nice if he got to perform, but....."  
  
"I'm not-"  
  
"Then it's settled?" inquired Lani, tilting her head at Zidane. "So where do we stay? If you don't have room for Amarant, I completely understand. He can sleep outside. When's dinner?"  
  
Now Zidane finally knew that she was joking. At first, he'd thought she was being serious about it all, but he found himself laughing now, at Amarant apalled expression, and Lani's smirk of amusement, "Right," he said. "You'll have your own rooms tonight, but due to the overcrowding of relatives and other stuffy noblemen and woman, there's only two rooms left. They'll have to be beside each other."  
  
Amarant, deciding that this new subjet was more important than objecting to Lani's words, shook his head. "That doesn't sound too bad."  
  
Zidane grinned meekly, "......And, they have, um, a connecting door."  
  
"What!?" cried Lani and Amarant both.  
  
"Calm down, calm down," requested the king, and snickered, not being able to help it.  
  
"It...." Lani began, and swallowed dryly. "It has a lock, right?"  
  
"Oh, come on," said Zidane, shrugging. "You two have been sharing inn rooms, tents, and the same stretch of dirt you might lie yourselves on to sleep under the stars. A wee doorway between two rooms can't be that-"  
  
"Does it have a lock or not?" demanded Lani.  
  
"Um, well, no," admitted Zidane, and once again, took another step backwards. "It, see. . . well, it. . . .doesn't even have, um. . . .a door."  
  
"I'm sleeping outside."  
  
Amarant's reply was instananeous. He suddenly turned his back on both of them, and began to proceed out of the room, but Lani just stood, with her jaw agape. Slowly, she turned to Zidane, and raised an accusing finger to point at him.  
  
"You. . .you were planning this! You purposely did this!"  
  
"Hey, hey!" exclaimed Zidane. "First of all, no, I didn't. And second of all, what's the big deal? It's still two rooms! And third of all, Amarant, you can't sleep outside."  
  
"I've been looking forward to being able to-"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
This time, Amarant cut Lani off. And it was obvious his tone wasn't in the slightest bit happy about the matter, so Lani didn't object.  
  
"Well," said Zidane. "I'm the king, and....it's against the law to loiter, which includes a serious penalty for making camp in public, or on castle grounds."  
  
He could tell Amarant was fuming inside, "Fine, then I'll stay at the inn."  
  
Zidane scratched the back of his neck, and almost squeak his next words. . ."It's....booked."  
  
"Then I'll-"  
  
"Look!" Zidane suddenly lifted his hands in defeat. "You're acting like a kid, Amarant. Just stay in the room, and don't complain, geez. Lani, if you leave him alone, then he'll leave you alone. Amarant, she'll leave you alone, if you leave her alone. Get it?"  
  
".........Fine."  
  
".........Fine."  
  
"Good," the king concluded, and slowly began to back away. "So....we're clear on this? The rooms are on the eastern wing of the castle, near the end of the hall. They're the only ones with the doors open. Go there, do whatever you want, and come to the dinner. Or not. Do, what you want."  
  
"......Hee, Amarant," said Lani, after they had both watched the king exit the room in an annoyed rage. "I wonder if he's like that around Dagger?"  
  
"........"  
  
Amarant and Lani both left the room, but only Lani was talking nonstop. Soon, their usual silence between themselves grew into a one-sided conversation for Lani. Amarant did his best to ignore her, and almost let himself sigh with relief when they eventually reached the end of the eastern wing. Two doors stood ajar -- one was painted red, and the other blue.  
  
"Oh," said Lani, and abruptly stopped talking.  
  
"....What?"  
  
Lani glanced from the doors, back to Amarant. "I know where we are now. These rooms used to belong to Brahne's henchmen, those idiot clown twins. Anyways, I'll take blue, you take red, all right?"  
  
Amarant eyed her suspiciously. "What's wrong with red?"  
  
Lani pretended to be innocent, "What? Whatever do you mean, Amarant?"  
  
The bounty hunter crossed his arms and stared at her, skeptically. "What's wrong with the red room? Did someone get murdered with an axe?"  
  
"Hey, hey, what's wrong with assasinating people with axes?" demanded Lani. "You're speaking to a girl who does that for a living! And no, nothing's wrong with it. I just thought, you know, 'Red', being you, and the 'red' room would go great, right?"  
  
"......." Amarant looked from the red door, to the blue, and then back at Lani. "I think I'd better take the blue room."  
  
"You don't trust me?" Lani said, and then stifled a giggle.  
  
"No."  
  
"Too bad!" she cried, and without warning, she dashed into the open doorway, and slammed the blue door in his face.   
  
Amarant stood for a few more seconds, blinking back his a irritance. Then, he slowly proceeded through the red door, and closed it with a careless flick of his wrist. 


	4. Preperations

Disclaimer: I don't own FFIX. Say it with me now....I dooonnnttt owwwwn Fiiinal Fantassssy Niiiiine......Right? Ok. ^_^  
  
(And so it goes on....and on....and on....)  
  
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"There's no way I can sleep with you still awake."  
  
Lani's voice drifted through the open doorway.   
  
"That's something you can worry about tonight, Lani," said Amarant, leaning against the wall, just outside of her room.  
  
"What do you think I should wear?" she asked, and the sounds of ruffling came from inside. "Looks like Dagger generously supplied me with a few varieties of dresses, and oooh, look, a tux!"  
  
Amarant rolled his eyes, "You aren't wearing a tux, Lani."  
  
He heard her laugh, "Of course I'm not. You are."  
  
"Like hell I am."  
  
"Oooooh, come on!" Her head appeared through the doorway, complete with a nice, sarcastic grin.  
  
"Get out of my room."  
  
She frowned, "I'm not in your room. I'm in your air, and air's free around here that last time I checked." Then her head disappeared. "Amarant, you HAVE to wear a tux! Think about how surprised everyone would be!"  
  
"Think about how the death rate would explode when they all have heart attacks."  
  
"Exactly!"  
  
"That's not the kind of entrance I'm looking for. Who says I'm going, anyway?"  
  
"I say so!"  
  
"Say what you want, but I'm not wearing a tux, and I'm not going."  
  
"Well," her voice changed from giddy, to dubious, "The suit probably wouldn't fit you anyway. How about this-"  
  
"No."  
  
"Listen to what I have to say!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Grrrrr!" growled Lani, and stormed through the open doorway. "Fine! I don't care what you wear! You can go stark naked if you want, but will you PLEASE come?"  
  
"That's not funny."  
  
"PLEEEEEAAASE?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
As soon as he'd said it, she'd realized just how dumb she was. What an old, dirty trick! She'd just given in to him, for absolutely no reason at all! He'd would've gone all along, but, knowing how desperately she wanted him to come, he'd used it against her to get out of wearing a tux!  
  
"Hey, wait a minute-"  
  
"It's too late. Get dressed, Lani."  
  
She glowered at him, and hostily left his presense, just wishing she had another door to slam in his face.  
  
"By the way," she heard him say. "Why do you want me to go that bad?"  
  
She snorted, "It's not that I want you to go, it's that I don't want to go alone."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I tend to get curious about these things."  
  
She raised an eyebrow, "What things?"  
  
"You know -- when you go balistic to hear I'll be abandoning you for a period of time say, oh, over five minutes."  
  
"I do not!"  
  
"Get dressed, Lani."  
  
"Don't peek!"  
  
"Not in my worst nightmares."  
  
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Amarant leaned against the wall beside the bedroom door, now. He'd been reluctant to move, but Lani had threatened that she would keep stalling until he'd left the connecting door's premisis completely. He wore his regular clothes, of course, not being able to see why he had to   
look fancy at all. Time was wearing thin, but his patience wore thinner. He began to count the minutes after about half an hour of waiting for her to dress.  
  
He'd only counted twelve minutes before he heard a loud crash sound inside of Lani's room. Grinning inwardly, he pushed himself off the wall and slowly approached the connecting doorway. Cautiously, he froze and stood just around the corner of her room, "You're still alive, right?"  
  
Lani's voice was drenched with pain, "Just bare...ly..."  
  
Amarant snorted, as he heard the the sound of shuffling glass. "What's you break? A vase?"  
  
"Oh, no," came Lani's sarcastic voice. "Just my hip, that's all."  
  
Again, he snorted, "Hurry up."  
  
Suddenly, Lani burst through the open doorway, limping all the while. She wore the meanest of all mean grimaces on her face, and stopped to glare defiantly, without words. Amarant was about to make some smart-alec comment on her lateness, but his throat abruptly became raw, and tight. He tried to swallow his surprise, but failed. Instead, he stumbled backwards.  
  
The bounty huntress was....Instead of her usual, red-and-yellow outfit, she wore a blue, slender, long and simple dress. It was made of velvet, clearly, but it had a short rip at the bottom, along the seam. The dress, however, was not the only thing that appalled him. Lani's hair was pulled back into a tight bun, and her ears....they had EARINGS!  
  
She noticed his surprise and smirked, moving forward. "Yeah, I know, it's the only dress I couldn't find that wasn't smothered in lace," she said, as she shoved past him.  
  
Slowly, Amarant turned around to peer at her more closely. No axe, no filth on her face, no grubby hands, and no bright, unusual colours. If that was Lani under all that simple, but stupifying glamour, then he was Zidane's best friend. Of course, that couldn't be, because even disguised as she was, Amarant knew that all-too-famliar glint in her eyes. This time, he managed to swallow, "You're...Lani?"  
  
"Mmm?" she wanted to know.  
  
Amarant shook his head, finally beginning to absorb it all, "Never....mind. But...Lani? Aren't you going a little overboard?"  
  
Lani moved forward, giving him a look that clearly said, "WHAT?" and stuck her face close to his. He took an unvoluntary step backwards. "You don't LIKE it? Is it too FANCY for you???" she whispered fiercly.  
  
This time, Amarant held his composure, "I can't say. It's just not you."  
  
"Well, it had BETTER be me by the time we get to the dinner, or YOU are going to end up with Eiko as your dance partner!" she quipped, and turned around, almost tripping over the seam of her dress. She cursed and headed for the door.  
  
"Dance? I'm not dancing," said Amarant, sternly. He walked after her, and pushed her through the door when she stopped to look at him.  
  
"You are if you have to. And you'll have to, when it comes time. Unless, you'd PREFER to dance with Eiko?"  
  
"I'd prefer to dance with no one," he said, simply.  
  
"That's look a little odd, don't you think?" she joked, walking ahead of him as they started down the hall. Amarant made sure to close both of the doors before her followed her. If anyone looked inside and saw clothes strewn across the floor, they'd probably get the wrong idea.  
  
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(Yeah, so it's short. A LOT of my ficcy's are short, aren't they? Ooooh, well. I'll get the next chapter up soon, though not THAT soon, cause I got my crossover and my MASTERPIECE (trumpet sounds) to finish. *grin* Let's just say that....I have a lot to do? lol) 


End file.
